Can one have a healthy dating life after becoming a parent? Moms and dads always put their kids first, but they shouldn’t forget about their own needs in the process. After all, a happy romantic life leads to happier parents, and happier parents lead to happier children.
Nevertheless, many people still struggle with post-parenthood dating, especially if they’re not looking for a traditional, committed relationship. In this article, we will do our best to deconstruct the myth that casual dating is not for parents, showing that all forms of love are legitimate (even after having a child).
Safety First!
No, post-parenthood dating doesn’t have to be dangerous. However, there are always some risks involved in the process. To prioritize safety for you and your child, you should stick to some essential ground rules:
- Don’t get the kids involved: There’s no reason for your next hookup to meet your children, so don’t get them involved. You can have a healthy and vibrant dating life without impacting your kids at any level, and that’s precisely what they need to be shielded from any potential emotional damage.
- Use safe platforms: Using reliable dating websites and apps is essential for dating safely, and the good news is that many platforms that allow you to casually meet & fuck people in your area without putting yourself (or your kids) on the line. On OneNightFriend, for example, you can activate the full safe mode to filter out unverified matches, ensuring you’re only talking with real people who were vetted by the website.
- Avoid oversharing: We don’t mean you should refrain from letting dates know about your life, as that’s a core aspect of dating. However, you should avoid sharing any personal details that may endanger your children’s safety with people you have just met. Your next hookup doesn’t need to know where your kids go to school, so just keep that information to yourself!
If you have thought about everything (safety-wise), but are still unsure about meeting someone you met online, there’s a good chance you’re having difficulties with balancing two very different sides of yourself: being a parent and wanting to date casually…
Why Do Some People Think Parents Shouldn’t Date?
Sadly, some people still think casual dating isn’t right for parents… However, their reasoning is often more motivated by emotional and cultural factors than logic.
So, why is there a prejudice against post-parenthood dating? These are some of the main reasons:
- Society promotes the idea that parents should sacrifice themselves for their children to the extreme. So, any distractions (like casual dating) must always get in the way of the child’s well-being. Yet, dating per se isn’t synonymous with being a neglective parent.
- Some people struggle with post-parenthood dating because they believe children can be negatively affected by seeing their parents meet multiple partners. However, it’s possible to date casually and leave children out of the loop, protecting them from emotional instability and having contact with strangers.
- Casual dating is broadly perceived as irresponsible, but this is a prejudiced, outdated view. Actually, committed relationships can be more toxic and dangerous than a carefree hookup; it’s all about how parents choose to manage their love life!
All things considered, it’s about time we normalize post-parenthood dating. So, how can you get back on track and enjoy your love life after having a child?
Balancing Parenthood and Casual Dating
We all have to juggle multiple personalities in our day-to-day lives. When we’re in the office (for example), we usually act differently than when we’re hanging out with friends. For many parents, though, it can be hard to simply transition from being a loving mom or dad to meeting a stranger for a hot one-night stand.
So, what can we do to mentally shift gears and go from being a caring parent to a seductive person? We have two tips that can help:
- Find time for yourself: Being a parent and dating casually are two compatible tasks, but they shouldn’t happen simultaneously. That’s why it’s essential to designate time for your children and time for your dates. Find someone you can trust to take care of the kids during your next date night, and ensure that you always keep mommy/daddy time separate from dating time.
- Respect your needs: Children are your number-one priority, and that’s okay, but there’s no reason to believe your role as a parent is more valid than your role as a single person looking for hot dates. If you’re feeling romantically or sexually frustrated, that will reflect on your children, and that’s why you must do your best to be happy and fulfilled—if not for you, at least for your kids!
Everyone is entitled to pursue their own dating goals, no matter what. By getting over the shame, playing it safe, and internalizing that parents also have sexual needs, you can take back control of your love life without putting your children on the line.