Divorce is tough on everyone in your family. Parents often struggle with their new lives as single adults and children can feel like they’re caught in the middle. You’re dividing up assets and trying to keep the divorce as amicable as possible.
However, have you thought about co-parenting and what it will look like? Creating a plan before you head to family court can make the process easier for everyone involved.
Crafting a comprehensive plan for effective co-parenting will require cooperation from you and your former spouse. However, your plan can help you and your former spouse parent more effectively while reducing stress on your children.
Considerations for an Effective Co-Parenting Plan
Everyone’s co-parenting plan will look a little different but there are some common considerations you want to keep in mind. Here’s a look at some factors that you may want to address in your co-parenting strategy.
Start with a Schedule
Most states, including Connecticut, encourage parents to work out a child visitation schedule. Family courts typically believe children benefit from having both parents as a constant presence in their lives. If you and your spouse can’t come to a visitation agreement, the court usually steps in.
So, what does a child visitation schedule look like? A good place to start is by comparing your free time with your spouse’s availability. Ideally, you want to create a schedule that ensures your child is seldom left without a parent’s presence. This may mean dividing time during the week. For example, one parent gets their child off to school and the other is responsible for afternoon pickups.
Your parenting schedule may also leave one parent with the child during the week. On weekends, the child spends time with the other parent. Working together, your former spouse can create a schedule that helps ensure your child never feels abandoned by a parent.
Don’t forget to come up with a contingency plan. For example, if one parent is sick during their scheduled time with their child is there a plan to cover their temporary absence?
Cover Child Exchange Details
As you’re hammering out a childcare or visitation schedule, figure out how the exchange will happen. Do you feel comfortable allowing your former spouse to pick up and drop off your child at your residence?
Maybe, you feel safer limiting the exchanges to public locations like a grocery store parking lot or even a neighborhood police station. Yes, law enforcement allows divorced parents to handle the exchange on their property.
If the divorce is especially contentious, you may want to consider using a proxy for the child exchanges. The proxy is an individual approved by you, your former spouse, and the court to pick the child up from one parent and handle the drop off to the other parent.
Who Makes Decisions for the Child
The type of custody arrangement usually handles this consideration. If you have a joint custody agreement, both parents are usually allowed to make decisions regarding the child’s health and education. Basically, anything that requires parental assent should be decided by both parents. This can even include allowing the child to enroll in driver’s education classes.
When a parent has sole custody, figuring out who makes decisions for the child is pretty cut and dry. The parent with sole custody makes all of the decisions. This can leave the other parent feeling left out of their child’s life.
Regardless of the type of custody arrangement, it’s almost always a good idea for parents to work together to make the best decisions for their child.
What happens if you don’t agree with the decisions your former spouse is making? You can file for joint or sole custody in family court. You will need to show that your former spouse may not be acting in the child’s best interests. Your child may also be called to testify. Since the experience can be traumatizing for children, it’s usually best to try and work out your differences through other solutions like mediation.
Traveling or Moving Out of State
Chances are, at some point either you or your former spouse will want to take an out-of-state vacation with your shared child. How is this scenario going to work? Does the parent planning on traveling need to let their former spouse in on their vacation plans?
Setting some rules for out-of-state travel before finalizing the divorce is a great way of preventing problems down the road. You and your former spouse should also agree to provide the other with all contact information while they’re out of town, including where they plan on staying. Don’t forget to include details regarding the departure and arrival dates. Both parents should know when their child will be returning from vacation.
Moving out of state can be complicated so it’s best to address the possibility early in the divorce. If a parent needs to relocate, can they take the child with them? What about the other parent’s visitation schedule? If a parent stays behind, will they get more time with the child in the summer?
Are you considering a relocation plan for the other parent? This plan allows the other parent to relocate to the same area. However, the parent who’s relocating typically covers the other parent’s expenses. Think of it as a type of alimony to compensate the other parent for having to move with you.
Child Expenses and Taxes
Your co-parenting agreement should cover who’s responsible for paying for what. This can stop a lot of potential future arguments before they even start. Spend some time creating a list of your child’s daily needs, along with any activities. For example, does your child play sports? If so, who’s responsible for covering the expenses?
What about health insurance? Will the child remain on a parent’s policy or do you need to start looking for coverage? Don’t forget about taxes. Only one parent can claim the minor child on their annual taxes.
Crafting an effective co-parenting plan can be mentally exhausting. Getting your spouse to agree with your plan isn’t always easy. If you and your former spouse are running into roadblocks, an experienced family attorney can help you create a co-parenting plan that works for everyone.